A big THANKS to everyone who wished me congratulations and kind words about my previous "oh gosh I'm pregnant" post! Now that you're all in the know, I feel I can truly state my feelings on the matter.
I'm terrified to be pregnant. This wasn't planned. Sure, Seve and I joked about trying and every once in a while I'd see baby related items and get a little spark of excitement thinking how cool it'd be to have a kid. Gosh, I even bought a baby hat and coat some many odd weeks ago because I thought they were totally cool and didn't want to pass them up. But I stowed them away in the closet thinking I'd pull them out sometime after Seve graduated, when we were originally planning on having kids. Now that this reality is suddenly upon us, I'm scared.
Luckily, the majority of my friends understand how I feel, and my family's excitement over the matter has helped to make it exciting for me. And I really don't have any reason to be scared. I have a good job with good insurance. We have family who love and support us. It's not like I'm Juno or anything.
To be honest, I don't even feel pregnant yet - I just feel sick! So, so, so sick. Nauseous and pukey and heartburn and sick. It doesn't feel like I'm carrying some future bundle of joy, just some new type of flu. Everything I eat looks, smells, and sounds disgusting. I took the last two days off work because I just couldn't function, and well, because yesterday was my birthday. Seve stayed home with me yesterday, taking the day off classes and convincing me to get out of the house. We took a nice walk around town , and it did actually help me to feel better.
He also surprised me with a new mp3 player for our car! AND guess what arrived in the mail? And guess who can't ride (well, slide) it because of new circumstances?
Boo, boo, boo. Maybe once morning sickness leaves me alone, I'll start to get excited. And maybe once I get my first ultrasound, it'll start to feel real. But for now, boo.
By the way, my due date is 1/1/11. And my cousin recently found out she's pregnant as well, and her due date is 1/11/11. I told her our stars were aligned.
It's okay....i'll babysit....for free. And, i'll teach the babe how to say Monika. Sounds totally wicked awesome right? I know...thought of it myself.
ReplyDeleteHey! That is pretty awesome news!! Your baby will be cool, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteIf you need another person to empathize with the pregnant/baby thing, I'm always here for you!
Too bad we left Rexburg, or I'd come hang out! :(
I hope things get better!
I know it's crazy and stressful to be pregnant. Sorry you feel sick. Hopefully it clears up in a few weeks. Take it one day at a time and eventually the stress of pregnancy will get fun. Then the baby will be born and it'll be stress all over again. But that goes away too, and suddenly the kid is toilet trained and you're wondering where the heck your little bundle of infant-ness went. Your baby will be beautiful--she's got some cool genes (and probably some cool jeans, too). 1/1/11 is awesome! Jane was born 7.7.07. I'm 1.11.88. It's very fun. Okay, I'm seriously going to stop goofing off now
ReplyDeleteoh jules i know so much of how you feel! it's crazy how sometimes life happens, but it's such a blessing! our babies will be just a month apart :) good luck with everything and reading your blog was so cute to me. i hope you start feeling better!
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